Today was a gorgeous day! It felt like Spring (it’s winter in Aus). The sun was shining and the birds were chirping, fairytale stuff 😂 my fiancé and I had a fight last night, I’m not 100% comfortable saying what it was about but hurtful things were said and I ended up sleeping in Little Miss’ bed with her, crying myself to sleep. I just needed space. It was the most uncomfortable sleep that I have ever had. She steals the blankets and literally tries to push me off the bed. It was a better option than the couch though and I snuggled with her as much as she would allow me to. Today I left fiancé at home and took Little Miss food shopping. I was still mad at him and I was worried that I would explode and say things that I didn’t mean, so I removed myself from the situation. It’s safe to say that going shopping without him is really hard. I was hoping Little Miss would fall asleep on the way to the grocery store (it’s much easier to shop when she is asleep in the pram). She did fall asleep! I thought it was my lucky day but then she woke up as soon as I pulled her out of the car. The whole experience actually wasn’t as difficult as I had anticipated but that’s owing to the fact that Little Miss was preoccupied with eating the loaf of bread that I had just taken off the shelf. I managed to do a big shop, thanks to my pram holding more than I had expected! When I arrived home, things were still awkward between fiancé and I. I got on with my jobs, putting the shopping away, cleaning the house etc… My fiancé doesn’t generally come out and say sorry straight away. He always does this thing where instead of saying he’s sorry, he’ll start helping me to put the shopping away, or he’ll look after Little Miss while I’m doing stuff and then he will act like nothing has happened. The funny thing is that Little Miss does the exact same thing! If she does something naughty, instead of saying sorry, she will offer me one of her toys or give me a drink of her water. It’s strange how these traits are passed along. Anyway, we decided to head down to his parents house to watch the football. I said to him in the car “so are we going to talk about what happened?” I’m one of those crazy people who has to talk things through and there has to be apologies and understanding. I can’t just pretend like nothing has happened because then it will eat at me until I have a mental breakdown or I internally combust. We talked things through calmly and he said sorry. Things are back to normal for now. I’m quite blessed that we are both mature enough to want to stay together instead of throwing in the towel when things get tough. He’s a good Dad, an excellent Dad to Little Miss.. I do feel as though when you become a parent, you have to put your wants and needs aside for your children. There’s no space in your life to be selfish anymore and that’s the truth. Little Miss loves her Dad and me so much. We are her world. To break up would mean the end of her world. I grew up with a man who never wanted to be a father and who made that fact known. He never treated me or my sisters well. Little Miss is so blessed to have a Father who loves her unconditionally. I would never want them to be apart. Life isn’t always fine and dandy. It never will be, God puts obstacles in our path to test the way we overcome them. We can’t run away from life or fears, challenges or sadness. We must face it head on. When we are faced with situations we don’t like, we have to look around and count all our blessings and express our gratitude. Everything we are faced with in life is a learning opportunity and when we view things that way, the weight of life’s pressures is less. My lesson for today is to practice forgiveness and gratitude. What are you grateful for today?
THE REAL GIFT OF GRATITUDE IS THAT THE MORE GRATEFUL YOU ARE, THE MORE PRESENT YOU BECOME! ~Robert Holden